Pyro's Secrets
by Roxius
Summary: Team Fortress 2. Scout wants to know what Pyro looks like under his gas mask, but what he finds under there both shocks and confuses him. Onesided ScoutXPyro...with a twist! Kind of OOC on Scout's part. Please R & R!


A/N: I know TF2 has kind of been around for a while, and so has Half-Life, but I've only recently gotten into the series. I might actually make more TF2 fics too, if I think up of any new ideas for the characters.

As I wrote in my profile as my all-fic disclaimer, I do not own any of these characters or anything; Valve does. Also, I think I made Scout too caring and thoughtful, so he's pretty OOC, I guess.

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Ever since Scout joined the group a while back, he had always wondered exactly what Pyro looked like under that gas mask. However, no one seemed to know; not even Medic, who performed full-body check-ups on the entire group once a year. By now, after being apart of the Red Team for so long, he had expected to know the truth...but he didn't. And it was starting to piss him off!

"I'm gonna see what's under Pyro's mask...even if it kills me!" Scout proclaimed loudly one day while hanging out with Sniper and Demoman.

"Uh...good luck with that, mate." Sniper said, not really caring about the boy's personal goals. He was too busy sucking on a snow cone he got from the Engineer's new Ice cream/Snow cone Machine.

Demoman, however, understood Scout's plight and gave him some useful advice. "Don't even bother, boy! He'll kill ya! I've seen it with me own eyes!"

"...You mean 'eye', mate." Sniper interjected.

"Shut up!" Demoman snarled at him, and then he turned his attention back to Scout, who replied, "Uh...that's nice and all, but I'm so fast I could easily outrun that psycho if he ever tries to kill me. Besides...we're teammates. Why would he do something like that?"

"Pyro is not a man to be trusted..." Demoman muttered under his breath.

Shrugging his shoulders, Scout ran off to see if he could find Pyro hanging somewhere around the base.

"You see what you do?" Demoman snapped in a thick Irish accent at the Sniper once Scout had left, "You always interrupt me while I'm trying to warn people of the dangers of messing around with psychotic pyrophilics wearing gas masks!"

Sniper smirked and said, "Take a chill pill...mate."

Demoman took a 'chill pill' but punching Sniper in the face.

After a while, Scout eventually spotted the fire-loving weirdo coming out of the bathroom. Peeking out from behind the corner, Scout tried to think up of a plan as quickly as possible before he lost his chance.

'Hmm...I could just smack him with my bat and remove his mask while he's unconscious...nah, too noticeable. Plus, I'd be in serious shit when he wakes up. Maybe I could just ask him politely to remove his mask...nah, there's no way in fuckin' hell that that would work. I could threaten him to take off the gas mask while aiming my gun at his head...that COULD work, in theory, but the whole idea of it being pulled off successfully is quite slim; he could just use his flamethrower without even turning around and burn my ass to high heavens! Damn...I'm out of ideas...argh...meh...erm...to hell with this! I'm just gonna knock the shit out of him and remove that mask while he's unconscious!'

So, with that plan in mind, while Pyro was looking the other way, Scout leapt out of the shadows and smacked his metal bat against the fire-user's head, knocking him down to the ground without a word. Smirking, Scout reached down and pulled off the mask...

...only to see a girl's face. Not only that...but she was cute. Of course, Pyro might just be a really pretty boy, so Scout wasn't too sure.

"...What.The.Fuck."

She/He had long raven-black hair, soft plump lips, and a small nose. Leaning in and poking her/him, Scout was even more surprised to realize how soft and smooth her/his skin felt. Now that he had finally seen Pyro's true face, Scout felt a little bad for hitting him/her over the head like that.

'It's weird, though...why hasn't anyone tried to knock him/her out to see his/her true face before? I guess they didn't want to risk getting burned...' Scout thought as he lifted Pyro's body over his shoulders and carried her/him to the Infirmary.

When Scout got there, the Medic was busy removing a splinter from Heavy's big toe.

"Hey, Doc," Scout called, "I, uh...got a new patient for you."

Both Medic and Heavy's jaws fell open in shock when they were told the cute unconscious girl/boy Scout was dragging around was actually Pyro. At first, they found it hard to believe, and thought Scout had just knocked out a girl/boy from somewhere and dressed her/him in Pyro's clothes because he was a pervert (At least, that's what Medic thought). Heavy wasn't thinking anything; he was just giggling to himself for some reason.

"Look...just unzip the suit and let's find out what gender this...this Pyro thing is before I go insane!" Scout eventually snapped, and his demands were quickly fulfilled.

Placing Pyro on a blood-stained operating table, Medic slowly unzipped the jacket as Scout and Heavy looked on. Pretty soon, Medic suddenly blushed and quickly zipped the jacket back up.

"It's...Pyro...she's a girl..." Medic replied before leaving the room, covering his face with his hands as he left.

"Hmm...she's really pretty." Heavy 'intelligently' observed, "Maybe...can I have her?"

"NO!" Scout shouted, landing a powerful kick to Heavy's face, sending him spiraling out of the room. Flexing his muscles for a moment, Scout leaned over Pyro's face and stared at her for a while.

'It's weird,' he thought, 'I always expected Pyro to look as maniacal and scary on the inside as he did on the outside...I never would have expected it to be like this! Jeez...my mom always told me to be nice to girls...not that I really listened to her, but still...I feel bad for what I did. I don't care about hurting ugly or bitchy girls, but I could never bring myself to smack around a cute girl like this one. Plus...I can't help but feel happy that our group isn't actually a complete SASAUGE FEST!'

Suddenly, Pyro's eyes snapped open, and Scout saw she had wide crystal-blue eyes that shimmered in the light. Sitting up, Pyro rubbed her head and groaned, "Ugh...what happened? Was...was I knocked out?"

However, before Scout could answer her questions, Pyro's eyes grew even wider in horror as she felt her face, realizing her gas mask was gone. She started to breathe heavily as she mummured, "Oh my god...oh my god...my mask...my mask...it's gone! It's gone! Holy fuckin' crap, it's gone! Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Please don't send me back...please...ahh...aahh...ahh...ahh...ahhah..."

She started to feel all over her face and her suit, as if expecting her mask to be hidden somewhere so obvious.

She looked like she was going to go mental when Medic dashed into the room, carrying Pyro's beloved gas mask. Medic quickly placed the gas mask over Pyro's head, and lowered her body back into a lying position, and she soon fell asleep again for some reason.

"...What the fuck just happened?" Scout asked once he regained his composure.

Medic took out a can of beer from underneath his desk, took a long sip, and then replied, "I found Pyro's mask in the middle of the hall and realized you hadn't brought it with you when you dragged her here...I made it back just in time..."

"What was going to happen? What's wrong with Pyro? I thought she might have tried to kill me all of the sudden, with the way she was acting!"

"Scout...she would have killed you if she found out you were the one who removed her mask. You see, I knew Pyro was a woman since the first check-up when she joined the group...I lied to you about not knowing what she really looked like because she begged me not to. I know it may seem strange for me to do something like that, but...I guess you can say I sort of fell for her. I am about to tell you her reasons for being here and I expect you to keep quiet about them from the others...got it?"

Scout nodded. "Yeah, but...what about Heavy? He saw her, too..."

Medic smirked and said slyly, "Don't worry...a few extra doses of special pills in his medicine tonight and all his memory of today will be erased..."

"So...about Pyro..." Scout muttered, glancing at the snoozing pyromaniacal female.

"Back in the beginning days of the Red Team, It was actually Pyro's brother that was called in to join the team. However, Pyro's sister, who is here now, was afraid of losing her brother and, since she had more skills in dealing with fire and flamethrowers than him, she set up a whole plan were her brother was tricked into thinking his membership had been denied, while she herself went off to fill in for her dear brother. It's all rather quite touching...personally, I think it might be incest."

"...And she kills anyone who sees her true face so as to keep from being sent back home and having her brother take her place in the battlefield?" Scout said, filling in the blanks.

"Yes." Medic nodded.

"But...why is she so obsessed with fire?"

"I dunno. She told me her whole family is a bunch of crazy arsonists...they just love to burn stuff, even people..."

Scout stared at Pyro's sleeping form and felt even more compassion and sympathy for the poor girl than he did a moment ago.

'Damn...now I think I'm falling for her! This'll most likely lead to some awkward and embarrassing situations in the near future!' Scout thought with a sigh and a slight blush.

"You really need to stop acting OOC and start being that cocky jackass we all love/hate!" Medic exclaimed when he noticed the sullen look on Scout's face.

Suddenly feeling rejuvenated, Scout promised to do that right away, but before he ran off for a daily jog, he quickly removed Pyro's gas mask and kissed her on the lips.

Then he ran off down the hall, dodging the needles Medic was firing at him, laughing all the way...

'Yeah, we're a weird bunch...but we're still best friends! At least, I hope Spy likes me...'


End file.
